Reader matter:

I came across this person a couple weeks ago therefore right away hit it well. He is 20 and I am 18.

We conformed we might remain as buddies with benefits because I will be making in two months for a time. For whatever reason, he keeps revisiting the idea of merely being friends, saying the guy likes me it makes him put a wall up.

I informed him it might be okay whenever we only ceased talking so howevern’t get any further thoughts because the guy doesn’t want as of yet, but he keeps stating he doesn’t want to avoid talking.

Why does he deliver me personally combined signals? How to determine what he really wants?

-Brianna (Wisconsin)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Response:


Once you explain your relationship as pals with advantages, I assume you indicate sexual benefits. And because you’re one making town, I get a sense you are the one who structured the partnership that way.

He, on the other hand, didn’t have much of an option. You’ll be leaving, regardless if he wanted a lot more. Indeed, I think your solution from the connection ended up being the actual thing that lured the two of you.

It is an easy way to check a connection understanding that just one people may have a leave doorway at the two-month level.

With modern-day interactions being therefore delicate yet so pressured having sex, folks frequently check out dip their toe in as a way to stay away from a painful break up.

But the main point here is intercourse creates thoughts. He could be giving you combined signals because he likes you! He or she is indeed suggesting the “friends with advantages” charade is the wall surface he’s setting up.

My information: You should not mess with he’s heart if you do not wish a real commitment. If you, take it up-and be clear regarding the requirements.

The elephant from inside the living room looks too big for either of you to ignore.

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